L is for Love

365 days ago, I tearfully watched as the light faded from my Mother's eyes and she passed through the veil. Over the past year, I have reflected a lot about how that one moment changed my life in innumerable ways. In the days leading up to her passing, I would sit by her bedside, take her hand, place it on my cheek and I would whisper "Mom, I'll be ok. You taught me to be strong, don't hold on if you are worried about me. I'll be ok. It's ok, you can go. I love you so much. You can go." I thought I was ready, but how can you ever truly be "ready" to lose such an important person in your life?

A few weeks before my Mom passed away, my childhood neighbor and friend had her Father pass away unexpectedly. She uniquely knew the type of pain I was experiencing and a few days after Mom died, she came to visit me and brought me a gift of a necklace with the letter "L" engraved on the pendant.

I wore the necklace frequently, it made me feel close to my Mom. For those who knew me well, they understood the significance of the letter "L" but there were many people who did not know of my recent loss and would ask me "What is the 'L' for?". I reflected on what it meant to me. "L" stood for loyalty, laughter, light-hearted, loving - put all of those attributes together and it all stood for Laurel and Laurel stood for love. 

I wear this new necklace as a reminder to love like she did - to be like she was. 

After losing my Mom, I wasn't sure how I could get through each day. It quickly became apparent that because my Mom loved so many in her special "Laurel" way, my family would have no shortage of "Laurel love" coming our way. 

I learned that while my Mom taught me to be strong, that was not the only thing that was going to carry me through losing her. She also taught me to love - and that is what gets me through each day. If I can love just one person each day the way my Mom loved everyone around her, then I can keep a part of her, one of the best parts of her, alive.