The Epic Saga of The Couple In My Math Class

Two years ago, I sat in a college math class behind an overly affectionate couple. Their interactions lead me to start an epic saga of Facebook posts. I have decided to transfer all of those posts so you can see them all together. Here it is. THE EPIC SAGA OF THE COUPLE IN MY MATH CLASS:

There I was. My first semester of college. My first college class. For some stupid reason I took an early morning math class. On top of that my teacher was from Russia. A russian math teacher at 8:00AM.... could this class get any more hard to understand?! Never question if things could get worse... Life loves to prove that they can! 

August 27, 2012

•   "That awkward moment when you are sitting in class and the couple in front of you starts making out.... I thought we here in math, not chemistry"

September 4, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  Look, I realize you are used to being required to go to class but this is college, the teacher really doesn't care if you are there or not. You are adults, its your choice to come to class or not. However, it is also your choice to pay attention or not. I think you are getting really confused because last week you thought we were in chemistry and now you think we are in human bio. Leg hair is a natural thing, happens to everyone, rubbing his leg because it has hair on it does not constitute as a math equation. Try this one You- Razor= Hairy legs that you can rub WITHOUT disrupting the learning of others. This is getting ridiculous. Listen or leave!"

September 6, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!! This is WAY past ridiculous"

September 10, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  I didn't notice you as much today... That could be because i was focusing on the total BABE in front of me.... Wait.... I mean.... Math... I was totally focused on the math... The story problem was about a baby... And the book was in front of me... Yeah... That's what I meant."

September 18, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  I'm so glad you have the kind of relationship that you can openly discuss her menstrual cycle, but this is neither the time NOR the place!"

September 24, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class, all I heard was 'I need to be touched...' and frankly I don't want to know. I appreciate you being quiet but next time, keep the ENTIRE conversation quiet..."

September 27, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  Exploring possible pet names for each other at 8:30 in the morning.... In math class...? Really?"

October 2, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class. While learning about the trial and check method today, I overheard you mention something about trials when you get home... For the sake of my sanity and the innocence I once thought math held, I'm going to assume you meant you are going to watch Law & Order at home."

October 8, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  Your affectionate nature has become like a disease... It is spreading. Now the other male and female on your row have decided to flirt loudly and seemingly uncontrollably! What manner of plague is this?!? Will everyone end up coupling up and I be left to sit alone awkwardly saying "I love my dog." I dislike you very much..."

October 15, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  We didn't even have class today and you still manage to be in my status? I thought I could escape you! But no!! Now you and the disease you call love is haunting my dreams...."

October 16, 2012

• "Dear couple in my math class.... I got stuck in the elevator with you.... How?  now I'm really feeling forever alone"

• "Dear couple in my math class,
  Normally I wouldn't post two in one day but your stupidity seems to have left me no choice. May a suggest NOT kissing while driving? Dude, I don't know why you thought her turning the radio up was a turn on but you almost hit another car... Pay attention!"

November 7, 2012

• Dear couple in my math class, You are discussing baby names now? Joseph Tanner is a nice name and all but it's 8:00 in the morning....

November 28, 2012

• "Couple in my math class: 'why can't the teacher draw a straight line?' 'I dunno, I'm just glad you are my straight line!' *kiss* 
  ..... I would hope you both are straight! Otherwise the other is in for a rude awakening!! Seriously guys... 8:00 in the morning..."

And that was the last I saw of them. For almost 2 years, I did not see the couple from my math class again... until:

July 11, 2014

• "Dear couple in my math class, 
  
  Long time no see! Heading to work at same time as we would have headed to math class last year. Not much else has changed for you, I see. Still trying to lock lips while in a moving vehicle. Awesome. Next time, try playing tonsil hockey at a stoplight instead the freeway. 
  
  Sincerely, WHERE DOES IT END WITH YOU PEOPLE!!"

So, there you have it. The epic saga of the couple in my math class. Will the saga continue? Who knows!!