At this time last year, we were informed that my sweet Mother only had weeks left to live. I remember the feeling of despair as I wondered when in the coming weeks she would take her last breath. I wondered if she knew just how much I loved her. Now, exactly one year later, I find myself again anxiously anticipating the coming weeks, this time however, I am not fearing the loss of a life but awaiting the birth of a new life; Not dreading hearing a last breath, but excitedly listening for a first.
As we have been preparing for the arrival of our baby girl at the end of May, Stephen and I have been completely blown away by the generosity of family and friends in helping us gather the necessities (and yes, I consider bows and tutus to be necessities). Nesting has been in full effect recently, and as I have been sorting through gifts, one gift in particular stood out to me today.
A dear friend of mine gave me a copy of the book "Guess How Much I Love You" by Sam McBratney. It tells the story of Little Nutbrown Hare who wants to express how much he loves Big Nutbrown Hare. Each time Little Nutbrown Hare tries to demonstrate how much he loves Big Nutbrown Hare, Big Nutbrown Hare tells him he loves him even more. Little Nutbrown Hare eventually says "I love you right up to the Moon." Big Nutbrown Hare smiles and says as he tucks his little one in bed for the night "I love you right up to the moon- and back"
This book has always been one of my favorites but it has taken on new meaning as I prepare to become a mother. I always wondered if my Mom knew how much I loved her, I am starting to realize that no matter how much I love her, she loves me that much more. I love my Mom all the way up to Heaven, that is very, very far - But I have been feeling that my little one is going to come straight from my Mother's arms into mine, which means my Mom loves me all the way up to Heaven - and back.
