I rang in 2016 surrounded by friends. Life seemed so blissful. I had a wonderful husband, I was expecting a baby to arrive in July, I had a great job; my fairy tale seemed to be coming true. I put the ultrasound picture up on Facebook on the first day of the new year. I was so touched that so many people were excited for the new addition to the family. 2016 was going to be the best year.
On January 6, I went in for my 12 week check up but my sweet baby was found lifeless inside.
On January 7, I received news that my grandfather passed away, somewhat unexpectedly.
2016 had started out so bright but suddenly became the most trying year of my life.
As the year went on I did my best to recover, to pick up the broken pieces and move on. Just when I started to get a handle on things, in late September...
Cancer. My mom had cancer. Sarcoma. Rare and very aggressive. My world shattered. My mom is my best friend. The future became so unknown and I was terrified.
They say it comes in threes. I thought my burdens were heavy enough that life would settle for giving me two. But here it was, the third blow.
I think much clearer on paper, so I decided to write a poem:
They say it comes in
threes
But somehow I thought
it would be different for me
The blows I suffered
seemed so much harder to bear
How silly of me to
think I was the exception to Life being unfair
One paralyzing loss
got swallowed up by another,
I started to break
and I didn’t think I could recover.
But piece by piece
with gentle care
My loved ones helped
mend each tear.
I steadied myself,
took a deep breath, and brushed the dust off my knees
Why, oh, why didn’t I
believe them when they said it comes in threes?
When I heard the news
it stopped my world from spinning, I was shattered to the core
My eyes welled up
with tears, I didn’t know how to breathe anymore.
I could see the fear
in your eyes, I heard the doubt in your voice, yet you didn’t skip a beat,
You dried your tears,
put up your chin, and I knew you would not accept defeat.
“I didn’t have an
excuse to stop living life this morning, what excuse do I have now?”
I am amazed you have
the courage to smile in the face of fear, I hope someday you’ll teach me how.
You have taught me
that heartache and sorrow are no match for the peace the Savior brings,
Through his atoning
sacrifice we have the promise of better things.
The scriptures,
prayer, and priesthood blessings is where true power starts
Through them,
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit calm my tortured heart.
When life is
overwhelming we have been given tools such as these...
I guess that is what
they really mean when they say it comes in threes.
